He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
