Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
