PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize