No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
my liver is dry heaving
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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