It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
