Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
