"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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