Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
