Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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