a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
