god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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