My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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