How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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