he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
