dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
