the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This beer is not sobering me up at all
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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