I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
