so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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