We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
