Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
