IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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