It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
