my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize