Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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