If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
