her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
