Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
