yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
