32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
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No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
40s are totally the cure
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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