In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
