i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
