I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
