this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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