I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
