go do what you do best...puke behind churches
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
