Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
