Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
