How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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