I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
