Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
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