I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
