I feel like abortions should bother me more
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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