I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
