I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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