halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize