That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize