His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
