Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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