I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
