How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
