the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
