I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think a kid would responsible me up
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
