Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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