wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
