I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
