she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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