yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
