I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
