So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
two words...techno handjob
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
