Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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