I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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