There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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