her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
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If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize