She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
