Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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