life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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